Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Yes I am guilty as charged. Back in November I had a relapse and put the creamy crack back into my hair and my daughters hair. What are people gonna say ? How am I gonna look? I would ask my friends if they thought I would look right, blah blah blah. But around the holidays, I really got to reflect on my life and what I really wanted to change about myself. I asked myself: Through the past 5 years, what has prevented you from being where you want to be and from showing the real you? I don't know. Then I thought about all I've been through and I started to just write everything I've overcome, all that I was grateful for, and all of the things that people have told me..... I almost figured it out...but not quite....
I returned to school on January 7 and over the holidays some circumstances occurred. Naturally I became anxious and worried so people noticed I wasn't myself at school. a friend of mine pulled me aside and asked me was I ok. I told her what was going on and what I wanted to do but I was so worried about the outcome. She stopped me and said:" what are you afraid of?" " you have to stop living in fear and just know that it will all work out" It doesn't matter what people think or say about whatever you want to do. If its going to change your life and make a positive difference in your life and your family's life then do it and have faith". Then it clicked. FEAR. That was what stopped me from a lot of things in my life.
I took that advice and ran with it!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
On August 19,2012 I put my LAST relaxer in my hair. I decided on that day I was going natural. I told myself it's time for a total change in my life including my hair. I need a new outlook, mindset, and lifestyle adjustment. I've had a relaxer since the age of 5 and it wasn't by choice. Now at 31yrs old I'm making a change. Going natural to me means getting in touch with the "real" me. I've been through so much with my hair as well as my life.
I've had damaged hair along with damaged emotions, split ends and broken relationships. But I've grown so much and continue to grow because for my hair and my life to be better and healthier, I had to Cut the"dead" ends so I and my hair could grow back better and stronger than ever!
I haven't officially done the big chop, but I'm gradually doing it and taking it one day at a time.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
It's been 6 days since I've taken my Celexa. During the past few weeks, I've been really studying the Gospels of the Bible and praying more. I've decided on my own that my Depression and Bipolar disorder has run its course and that am healed. I've been telling myself that I can live a normal life without being medicated all day. My man told me something last week that helped me decide to stop the meds. He told me not to let these doctors make you think that something is wrong with you or that you're crazy. He told me to trust that God and that's what I've decided to do.
I've decided to Fully trust him and I say fully because whenever we get anxious and have doubts about what we've asked God for, to me its a way of saying you don't trust him fully....TO BE CONTINUED.....
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Today is a new chapter in my life. From this day forward, I am going to focus on what I have and be grateful rather than focus on what I don't have. How can I expect God to bless me when I'm not appreciating the simple things in life? Like waking up alive, breathing being able to walk, the air,trees and the birds. My good friend posted a picture of the rain hitting her window and it looked so beautiful. It made me think about how precious everything is just because God created it.
Yesterday my baby girl had a tummy ache and instead of us going outside, we just laid down and watched cartoons and I enjoy those little moments with her. She is such a blessing in my life..well that's it for today...BRB